Hi, I’m Marco Polo, Jane’s rescued dog – and forget what she’s been saying – here’s my wisdom from almost 11 years (that’s 77 in dog years) in this crazy world.
When you’re happy, show them! Jump all over them, lick their ears (the little ones’ cheeks taste nicer to lick, the bigger males have pokey stubble!) When they come home after a long day out, wag your tail till it almost falls off. Everyone loves to come home to a fantastic welcome.
Never take any medicine. They say it’s good for you, but don’t. Even if they open your jaws to stuff it in, just spit it out, sniffle, sneeze and go and curl up and feel as sick as a – right – as a dog – till you feel better. Curling up tight is a super way to feel warm and better soon. If Jane lets me curl up near her, I get better sooner.
Never trust a stranger. If anyone comes near my pups (oh, ok, they’re actually Jane’s pups – Neel and Niks) – I bare my teeth and growl. I’ll defend them with my life! They’re rather silly – these human pups – they don’t know who to trust and who not to.
No matter who you are, if you’re poor or unpopular or dirty or depressed – if you’re good to me, I’ll love you back with my whole heart. I know no other way. I’ll follow my loved ones anywhere. (I even follow Jane into the bathroom when she’s sick and puking, but she shoos me off!)
That’s all really. Simple rules. I’m a happy, no-nonsense guy. I’ve got no hang-ups. I’ll lick my balls in public if I need to. I tear up things when I’m sad. I don’t collect things I never need. I eat, I love, and if you follow these simple rules, you’re going to be a lot happier like me. (Except for the ball-licking thing, humans don’t manage that so well!)