Friday, May 22, 2009

Splitsville

Preity and Ness headed for Splitsville, scream the headlines. That’s the same place that Jen-Ben once went. And Jen-Brad once went. And Brad-Anjelina are now thinking of going. Where is this place?
Splitsville is somewhere only the rich and famous go. Like Maliboob. I’ve split in my time.
But you think the papers would send me there? Nah. It’s chocabloc full ! Of film stars and soccer stars and journalists who are so busy following everyone in there, that their significant others have split. Being in Advertising, I have naturally turned my extensive intensive research into an ad.

Head to Splitsville this summer.
Beat the Heat with the hottest splitting bods in Bollywood (or get even hotter)
Then cool down by the Split-level pool, while you get photos clicked of you, so you can sue every paper in town.
Enjoy the split level air, and split the bill (or anything else) with Brad Splitt.
Only $1 million for further information – split into further information chapters of more million $ each.

Learning : Why do we lap up this Splitsville news with such glee in the first place? Is it because we like to see those who are so beautiful, rich and famous, become a little sadder, a little more human? After all, when someone normal and non-famous who we know splits (I mean a couple splits of course – would be quite painful if any one person were to split – unless he has a split personality, which means he is already split and in pain… digression over.) So if a couple splits, we offer tea and sympathy (unless of course she “deserves” it, which means she said you’d put on weight the last time she met you, the b*%#@ ! Digression over again) And then we go on to tell humiliating stories about the ex-partner, who it turns out “we never really liked”. Till some day, we meet them together again, and realize they’re back together again, and had never really split.
P.S. Mel Gibson has left his wife of 28 years for Splitsville, with a woman who plays the piano really well. She also has a hot bod, but apparently he noticed her piano playing. Being a little thick in the head must be another criterion to get into those golden Splitsville gates.

8 comments:

  1. This one is dedicated to Diya... she was the one who actually introduced this side of gossip town to me :) when she once came running telling me Bruce Willis and Demi Moore are heading for Splitsville .. my response of they were married!!!! she almost had a heart attack.. So for her sake I decided to check the tabloid.. But I must confess I am still very bad at it.. half the time I cant recognise these people.. one day they look normal next day they are in weird hairstyle n looks that I don't even know its the same person.. I give up for sure!!!!

    And my husband is forever upset with me because I watch movies while I also do nail filing.go run get myself coffee blah blah. ha ha while he can watch one movie and remember the dialogues backwards.. or next time when the movie is coming on TV the next time even before the titles start he will rattle of the name .. characters.. dialogues and as usual I wont remember that I saw that with him earlier.... haha (except Mel Gibson Damn he is taken :P)... so I tried telling him promptly about such gossips sadly he was not even interested .. :)

    But if you want a laugh yes you should read about these guys.. some of it so funny..

    I think I like my life better not being RICH AND FAMOUS!!!!!

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  2. Jandy, your blog posts are a delight.-keeps your readers coming back for more. There is a problem with posting comments though. I have tried often on other posts, and need to enter my comment twice(like this time) and often it does not accept comments at all. Please get this corrected, unless you do not wish to receive comments.

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  3. This one was a side splitter!!

    I once knew someone who split from her husband of so many years because her best friend was splitting from her husband & my friend did not want to be the one not splitting!!

    Keeping up with all the splits, soon-to-be split, once split twice reunited but split once again needs the energy of a very, very fit athelete!!

    Better stop my son before he does himself an injury - all this talk of splits has given him an idea & he has decided to do the SPLITS!!

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  4. Splitsville is something different on MTV. there couples get together and win the game. i guess all this above people should go there take out all there frustation on each other so they won't need to go to other splits ville.

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